When People leave for the bright light and you search for your home...

There is a specific kind of solitude that settles in as we grow older and the people we love begin to leave us. It is not merely the loss of affection; it is the loss of your history. These people were the emotional anchors of your childhood—essential as a lucky charm, comforting as a beloved toy held tight against the dark. But everything has its time, and eventually, people depart.

I have often believed that a soul holds onto life only as long as it wishes, until the moment comes to let go and embrace the Divine. They find peace, yet we, whose orbits revolved around them, are left navigating a sudden emptiness. Life moves forward, but we remain a little more lonely.

On January 10, 2026, I lost my maternal aunt (Mami), Dr. Puspa Sarin. She was my mother’s dear friend, the very woman present in the delivery room when I took my first breath. There is a cruel irony in losing her just as I left Noida for Pune. In retrospect, I realize that her presence was the tether that kept me in Noida for so many years; she was family, she was home.

It is a strange paradox: when you are a child, 'home' is a certainty, but when you are fully grown, it becomes a question. As she passes on to be with the Almighty, I am left wondering—where is my home now? Is it Nainital, where I spent my childhood? Is it Lucknow, where our house stands? Or is it Agra, where my parents passed away? It is terrifying that something as fundamental as the concept of home can be shaken by a single death.

But then, life is rarely known for its kindness. As the years pass, I realize I now know more people I love in the realm above than I do here on this physical plane. As Harivansh Rai Bachchan wrote so poignantly:

दृग देख जहाँ तक पाते हैं, तम का सागर लहराता है,

फिर भी उस पार खड़ा को‌ई हम सब को खींच बुलाता है!

मैं आज चला तुम आ‌ओगी, कल, परसों, सब संगीसाथी,

दुनिया रोतीधोती रहती, जिसको जाना है, जाता है।

मेरा तो होता मन डगडग मग, तट पर ही के हलकोरों से!

जब मैं एकाकी पहुँचूँगा, मँझधार न जाने क्या होगा!

इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

May she be happy, wherever she is.